On Selfishness

Many years ago now I had an epiphany: all of us are selfish, there is no such thing as selflessness, and, moreover, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. In fact, I think if you look around at the world we inhabit, we may be tempted instead to say that there is something wrong with…

Love Is…

When we speak of Love, we typically employ it to define a relationship between two individuals. But Love is more like a state of being; it's a capacity. Typically, when we think we love another, our love is conditional; it depends upon certain qualities that the individual possesses , and if they ceased to posses…

A Great Lesson: Showing Up to Learn

One of the greatest lessons that I have learned is the power of reframing failures as learning experiences. It literally propelled my dating life and success with women. Throughout my twenties, my self-esteem was so low, and my confidence in my own attractiveness so non-existent, that I not only didn't have much success with members…

On Gratitude

The way you view your reality, the value that you give to it, really does shape your experience. Cultivating a daily practice of being grateful for things that we normally take for granted in our day to day lives actually trains your brain to seek out the positive. The habit of daily gratitude is one…

On Finding A Purpose

"To live without purpose," wrote Nathaniel Branden, "is to live at the mercy of chance--the chance event, the chance phone call, the chance encounter--because we have no standard by which to judge what is or is not worth doing. Outside forces bounce us along, like a cork floating on the water, with no initiative of…

Nathaniel Branden On The Meaning of Self Esteem

Nathaniel Branden's classic 1994 work on the nature and importance of self-esteem, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, is one of the most important books for anyone embarking on the quest for self-betterment. Branden literally wrote the book on self-esteem; in fact, he wrote several, with The Six Pillars being the most monumental. Understanding what self-esteem…

My Top Three Keystone Habits

Okay, so you know that you need to create good habits, and you know that the way to do this is to: 1. Find the cue. 2. Alter the routine. 3. Keep the reward. If this information is new to you, or if you need a refresher, see my blog entitled The Power of Habit,…

When You Fail At Your Habits

We all KNOW we should exercise and eat right. Most of us who are educated and who keep up with the "Success" literature and media KNOW that we should meditate. And yet, we fail to implement new habits from time to time. Perhaps we fail just starting them, and then quickly give up. For the…